Monday, September 18, 2006

The (Political) Ten Commandments

These days, politicians love the Ten Commandments almost as much as they love being tough on crime and lowering class size. I do think that in this political season some seem to have their own interpretation of the rules. Find below, The Ten Commandments GPV (Georgia Politicians' Version).

#1: You Shall Have No Other Gods Before Me
That's right. I'll interrupt your favorite show and call you on the phone at dinner time. I'll call you at the office and ask for money. And you'll like it, because, get used to it, it's all about me.

#2: You Shall Not Make for Yourself a Graven Image
Except for those campaign commercials I intend to play as many times as possible. And yard signs- with flags.

#3: You Shall Not Take the Name of the Lord Your God in Vain
Certainly not at the public forum or on the House floor. Afterwards, at that dinner hosted by lobbyists or in the hospitality suite at the Landmark? Now you've gone to meddlin'.

#4: Remember the Sabbath Day and Keep it Holy
Yes, and on that day, I'll visit your churches and ask for your vote. But forget that part about working six days. That's a bit much. Oh, and I might not show up at church again until the next election cycle.

#5: Honor Your Father and Your Mother
Sure, I'll honor your father and mother. How big a check can they write?

#6: You Shall Not Kill
But character assassination is another matter all together, especially if the character is my opponent.

#7: You Shall not Commit Adultery
And get caught. Remember, plausible deniability is a necessity in politics.

#8:You Shall not Steal
But it's okay to use my office to make myself rich or avoid taxes, isn't it? That's just being creative.

#9: You Shall not Bear False Witness Against Your Neighbor
My opponent is not my neighbor. Plus, if that 527 is in Texas, I can't help what they say. (Again, see plausible deniability.)

#10: You Shall not Covet
My neighbor's house? Only for the purpose of redistricting it. His wife? Is she cute? His ass? What are you insinuating?

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