Thursday, June 21, 2007

Baptists Challenged to "Outbreed the Mormans"

In Extra, Extra, Breed All About It, Bob Allen of Ethics Daily writes about a strategy for church growth that may keep Southern Baptists in the bed rather than in the pew. Citing a pitifully low birthrate among Southern Baptists, Russell Moore, has urged Baptists to "outbreed the Mormans and out preach the Pentecostals." Moore is the Dean of the School of Procreology, uhm, I mean, Theology at The Southern Baptist Seminary in Louisville. (Yes, that is my Alma Mater, but, trust me, it was taken over by the infidels.)

It seems that when the neo-cons executed the takeover of the SBC in the 1980's, they failed to consider the consequences of changing the demographics of this once blue collar denomination. The influx of wealthy, better educated members has lowered the birthrate among Southern Baptists to less that two children per female 20-44 (1.96 to be exact). Moore, and other Southern Baptists fear the death of the denomination if the congregants don't get busy and start birthing brand new Baptists. Moore moaned that the Baptist birthrate was, "just barely above the Episcopalians and well below the notoriously liberal United Church of Christ." Mormon families had the highest fertility rate (2.69).

As Allen points out, this is hardly one rogue Southern Baptist theologian, but instead, this ridiculous view is reflected among other SBC leaders. Perhaps the need to ensure the next generation of Southern Baptists through procreation explains the need for the new seminary degree in "Christian Homemaking" that includes a seven hour lab in clothing construction. To further this particular effort they may wish to make that "clothing deconstruction."

5 comments:

Button Gwinnett said...

Why am I reminded of one of the Church Lady's old skits when she had Ann Landers as a guest?

"Doors locked, lights out, and only in the missionary position."

Amy Morton said...

I guess they've give up all concern about people thinking they might be dancing...

Tina said...

Maybe a system of awards, badges, bumper stickers, and Wal-Mart coupons would give momentum to the project.

Kathy said...

My Lord! I thought we Catholics had cornered the market on procreation.....live and learn!

Vic said...

St John the Baptist Parish
Louisiana...Shoe Rules:

Footwear

Shoes that provide sanitary protection and safety for the feet must be worn at all times.

Black or White shoes to be worn at all schools.

Solid Black or Solid White socks to be worn only at all schools.

Shoes must be fasten or tied at all times.

High heels, mesh, ballerina, or slipper like shoes are not allowed for students to wear.

No open-toed shoes are allowed.

Slip-on clogs, and shoes without restraining straps at the heel are not permitted.

Sandals are not permitted.