Since the Georgia General Assembly seems hellbent on meddling in our personal lives, how about we pass this bill? How about we call it the Gingrich Act? Note that the bill includes timely affirmation that women are people, too.
BILL TO BE ENTITLED AN ACT
To amend Chapter 12 of Title 16 of the Official Code of Georgia Annotated, relating to crimes against public health and morals, so as to make certain findings of fact; to define certain terms; to provide that any adultery shall be unlawful; to provide a penalty; to provide for severance; to provide an effective date; to repeal conflicting laws; and for other purposes.
BE IT ENACTED BY THE GENERAL ASSEMBLY OF GEORGIA:
Chapter 12 of Title 16 of the Official Code of Georgia Annotated, relating to crimes against public health and morals, is amended by revising Article 5, relating to adultery, in its entirety as follows:
For a little Friday
(1) Justice Blackmun, writing for the majority in Roe v. Wade, 410 U.S. 113 (1973), wrote: 'when those trained in the respective disciplines of medicine, philosophy, and theology are unable to arrive at any consensus, the judiciary, at this point in the development of man´s knowledge, is not in a position to speculate as to the answer [to the question of when adultery begins].' Now, 30 years later, the General Assembly knows the answer to that difficult question, and all others, because Georgia legislators are, in fact, God. For instance, we know that adultery begins at the moment of extra-marital copulation;
(2) A woman is a person for all purposes under the laws of this state;
(3) Even if the answer to the question of when adultery begins were unclear, the Georgia Constitution, at Article I, Section I, Paragraph II, provides: 'Protection to person and property is the paramount duty of government and shall be impartial and complete. No person shall be denied the equal protection of the laws.' Because a woman is a person and not property, constitutional protection attaches at the moment of marriage. It is therefore the duty of the General Assembly to protect the innocent lives that are currently being ruined;
(4) As a direct result of three decades of adultery on demand, particularly in the halls of power, the nation has seen a dramatic rise in the incidence of child abuse and a dramatic weakening of family ties, with the decision to pit cheating husbands against their wives;
(5) Studies of the three decades have revealed that women have been deeply wounded psychologically, with one researcher reporting that 81 percent of the women whose husbands had an affair had a preoccupation with his mistress(es), 54 percent had nightmares, 35 percent had perceived visitation with the mistress, and 96 percent felt the affair had taken over their life;
(6) Studies have shown that women whose husbands have affairs require psychological treatment of such symptoms as nervous disorders, sleep disturbances, and deep regrets, with 25 percent of one test group of women who have been cheated on visiting a psychiatrist while only 3 percent of a control group did so;
(7) Another random study showed that at least 19 percent of women who whose husbands have had an affair suffered from diagnosed post-traumatic stress disorder, with 50 percent suffering from many, but not all, symptoms of that disorder, and 20 to 40 percent of the women studied showed moderate to high levels of stress and avoidance behavior relative to their experience with infidelity;
(8) Approximately 60 percent of women who have caught their husband in bed with another women and who threw them both out also reported suicidal tendencies with 28 percent actually attempting suicide, of whom half attempted suicide two or more times;
(9) Adultery results in increased tobacco smoking, and women whose husbands have had affair are twice as likely to become heavy smokers and suffer the corresponding health problems as women who have never been cheated on;
(10) Adultery is linked to alcohol and drug abuse, with a two-fold increase in the risk of alcohol abuse among women whose husbands have had an affair and a significant increase in drug abuse;
(11) Most couples find adultery to be an event which shatters their relationship, causing chronic marital troubles and divorce;
(12) Adultery exploits women, treating them and their children as mere property, and adultery is contrary to feminist values embodied by the great suffragette Susan B. Anthony;
(13) Thirty years of adultery on demand have resulted in an increase in breast implants and a study has shown that women who had an whose husbands have affair in the first trimester of pregnancy before experiencing a full-term pregnancy may be at increased risk for divorce;
(14) The practice of adultery has had a profound detrimental effect on the health and well-being of the citizens of this state as well as the health of the economy; and
(15) The practice of adultery has caused the citizens of this state an inestimable amount economically including, but not limited to, the costs and tax burden of having to care for individuals and their families for the conditions cited above, as well as a significant reduction of the tax base and of the availability of workers, entrepreneurs, teachers, employees, and employers that would have significantly contributed to the prosperity of this state.
(b) As used in this Code section, the term:
(1) 'Adultery' means the intentional violation of the marital contract whether or not the intention is to produce a favorable bill or to simply get laid; provided, however, that if an adulterer makes a morally justified effort to save his or her marriage and the marriage does not survive, such action shall not be adultery if divorce has been granted. Such term does not include a naturally occurring expulsion of a semen known medically as a ''nocturnal emission” and popularly as a “wet dream” so long as there is no human involvement whatsoever in the causation of such event.
(2) 'Adulterer' means a person who violates the sanctity of their marital vows at any point. Such term includes all medical or popular designations of an adulterer from the moment of copulation such as slug, slime-ball, player, and similar terms.
(c) The practice of adultery is contrary to the health and well-being of the citizens of this state and to
(d) Any person committing adultery in this state shall be guilty of a felony and, upon conviction, shall be punished as provided in subsection (d) of Code Section 16-5-1. The professional license of any person indicted for an alleged violation of this Code section shall be suspended until resolution of the matter. The professional license of any person convicted of a violation of this Code section shall be permanently revoked. The provisions of this Code section shall be in addition to any other provisions relating to punishments for sexual impropriety, or use of one’s position to “get chicks.”
If any portion of this Act is found to be unconstitutional by the courts, the remaining portions of this Act shall remain in full force and effect.
This Act shall become effective upon its approval by the Governor or upon its becoming law without such approval.
All laws and parts of laws in conflict with this Act are repealed.